Social Media Musings

I should admit that, most of the time, I can barely work up the interest to keep up to date with what my closest friends are doing, especially on social media. I mostly just read up on Marvel movie rumours and whatever’s going on with Henry Cavill’s moustache today. Answer: A lot.

And why would I care about what my friends’ friends’ friends’ friends’ page like is up to? Because on Facebook, that’s really all I get to see. ‘Did you know so and so’s sister twice removed just befriended Random McJoe?’ No I didn’t because I’m aware of the existence of neither of those people. Zuckerberg made the right move buying Whatsapp and Instagram, because at least they’re the ones that are actually stuff your friends are doing, instead of just some company trying to get you to buy, in my case, a Star Wars sweater.

And even Insta’s getting worse. You know when you’re browsing Instagram Stories (which is already Instagram’s most annoying feature because it’s just a collection of every picture too fuckin’ ugly to save for longer than a day) and suddenly an ad pops up just as if the corporation is one of your buds, hoping you buy another fuckin Star Wars sweater and and you just close the app. You don’t wait it out to see the other stories by your actual ‘friends’, assuming they are friends. Who stays to watch the ad all the way through?


Who the fuck wants to put in a lot of effort for social media. Social media was invented for one reason, which is to make it easier to look cool. Nobody wants to work hard to seem cool. If it was worth the effort people wouldn’t use social media in the first place. They’d do it in real life. But do you know how hard it is to look cool in real life? Superhard. In real life you need to look good every second from every angle to be cool. On social media it’s just one picture, one funny comment.

That’s it though, innit? That’s why social media exists: So you can seem kinda cool for a tenth of the effort from the comfort of your own home for the measly cost of a polyester Star Wars sweater.

Author: Thijs

Dutch writer and film director who still believes in robots and thinks that Greedo shot first.